Saturday, June 23, 2012

Motives for Blogging

My mom asked me if I was still blogging and the answer is yes-sort of! This is the thing: I am really investigating my motives for blogging and if it is healthy for me. When I first started I LOVED it. I loved all the pretty posts and my accomplishments immortalized.  I loved the idea of my boys being able to see all that we had did together. I felt like part of a community of amazing people-parent bloggers.

Then I started looking at how many hits I was getting-obsessed actually. I started worrying why some post weren't getting any attention. Then I started to get insanely jealous about people who started blogs after I did and yet had more followers. Oh man-the whole follower thing....is that how my worth is measured?

If you can't tell I have a tendency to compare myself to others-bad habit, I know! When I do this honestly I don't stack up! I am NOT the perfect mother. Man, oh Man do I screw up-daily. I also have two extremely difficult boys. Its a battle everyday just to do the mundane. I love my boys but motherhood is H-A-R-D!!!! You look at other mothers and its hard to wonder how their life can seem so easy or simple, just like people who may read my blog must think the same thing.

So to make this super, long story come to an end. I plan on blogging, for my boys! Since it is for my boys some weeks don't go as planned and we don't accomplish anything and other weeks are great. Those are the weeks I will blog! I hope I still have some readers by then, but if not I understand. Not only do I understand but I will convince myself that I am still a good person and decent mom despite of it.